My Best Friend's Wedding (A Lesson in Life's Twists and Turns)
These thoughts have been swirling in my head for the last couple months and I finally have a chance to write them down. Let's hope this makes sense to readers on the outside.
*Note: Name's changed for confidentiality.
Earlier this fall, I was the Maid of Honor in my best friend Kristine's* wedding. Kristine and I have known each other since elementary school and we've been best friends since high school when we were both on the color guard together. We were co-captains our senior year and went on to do color guard together at Michigan State University. We were even roommates for our second two years of college. Needless to say, Kristine and I know each other very well and have been there for many important moments in each other's lives.
I was actually present at the moment Kristine met her now-husband, Tim*, during our sophomore year of college. Tim played baritone and the baritone section happened to share the bus with the color guard that year. Kristine and I happened to be sitting in front of Tim and his friend on the way home from a band performance at a local high school. They started talking, and talked the whole bus ride home. Within the next week he had asked her on a date and the rest is history.
Back in the MSU marching band the directors used to make all sorts of inspirational speeches about how special it was to be part of the band and the friendships people formed there. They told us that many of us would meet our future spouses in band and make friends we would have for the rest of our lives. For Kristine and Tim, this definitely turned out to be true. They met each other through band and still hang out regularly with a few old band friends (given that more than half their wedding party was band alumni). I know other MSU band alumni couples for whom this is also true. (Note: They've developed plenty of new interests and made many new friends too in the last seven years since college.)
In my college band years, I dreamed this would be my destiny too. I loved being in band and I hoped I would meet my future husband there and stay close friends with other band alumni for years to come. In my case, this didn't really happen at all. I had a boyfriend, who I met in band, for almost two years in college, but we broke up at the beginning of my senior year. Apart from Kristine, I didn't really stay in contact with many of my other band friends after college. Our lives went their separate directions and none of us put in the effort. When I think back on my college band experience, I remember the joy of being part of something special, but it's also bittersweet to remember dreams that went unfulfilled.
Yet looking at my life now, I know I have no reason to mourn lost dreams. A few years after graduating college, I made amazing new friends in a young adult group at my church. As great as my college friends were, it will most likely be these church friends that I'll end up growing old with. I rediscovered my Catholic faith in my post-grad years, and I realized there is no earthly experience that can compare to a personal relationship with Christ. And finally after years of waiting and wondering, I met my wonderful future husband two years ago. As I look back on the last seven years since I graduated college, I can see clearly how the Lord guided my life down a path that would lead me closer to him. And he filled it with people who would be my faith community. It's okay that my college dreams went unfulfilled because the Lord filled my life with new and better dreams in their place.
It's an interesting experience to spend time with other MSU band alumni these days, like I did at the wedding. It's interesting because I feel like I belong there, bonded with these people by the accomplishments and memories of being in the Spartan Marching Band, and yet I also have this feeling like I don't fully belong to that group any more. My life has taken a different direction and I only get to step into the band world again for rare visits. Kristine and Tim's wedding was one of those rare visits and a beautiful, joyous occasion. It was a special experience for me to stand by my best friend and the man she loves, having watched their relationship grow over the past several years. It was a time to briefly remember the seemingly magical days of college, and rejoice in how they led my friend to this day.
I'm grateful to still be friends with Kristine after all these years, despite the way our lives have diverged. It's nice to have an old friend who connects me to my past and also cheers me on as I head toward new opportunities in the future. My old college band life and my new life of rediscovered faith are both part of who I am. And I can be content with that.
*Note: Name's changed for confidentiality.
Earlier this fall, I was the Maid of Honor in my best friend Kristine's* wedding. Kristine and I have known each other since elementary school and we've been best friends since high school when we were both on the color guard together. We were co-captains our senior year and went on to do color guard together at Michigan State University. We were even roommates for our second two years of college. Needless to say, Kristine and I know each other very well and have been there for many important moments in each other's lives.
I was actually present at the moment Kristine met her now-husband, Tim*, during our sophomore year of college. Tim played baritone and the baritone section happened to share the bus with the color guard that year. Kristine and I happened to be sitting in front of Tim and his friend on the way home from a band performance at a local high school. They started talking, and talked the whole bus ride home. Within the next week he had asked her on a date and the rest is history.
Back in the MSU marching band the directors used to make all sorts of inspirational speeches about how special it was to be part of the band and the friendships people formed there. They told us that many of us would meet our future spouses in band and make friends we would have for the rest of our lives. For Kristine and Tim, this definitely turned out to be true. They met each other through band and still hang out regularly with a few old band friends (given that more than half their wedding party was band alumni). I know other MSU band alumni couples for whom this is also true. (Note: They've developed plenty of new interests and made many new friends too in the last seven years since college.)
In my college band years, I dreamed this would be my destiny too. I loved being in band and I hoped I would meet my future husband there and stay close friends with other band alumni for years to come. In my case, this didn't really happen at all. I had a boyfriend, who I met in band, for almost two years in college, but we broke up at the beginning of my senior year. Apart from Kristine, I didn't really stay in contact with many of my other band friends after college. Our lives went their separate directions and none of us put in the effort. When I think back on my college band experience, I remember the joy of being part of something special, but it's also bittersweet to remember dreams that went unfulfilled.
Yet looking at my life now, I know I have no reason to mourn lost dreams. A few years after graduating college, I made amazing new friends in a young adult group at my church. As great as my college friends were, it will most likely be these church friends that I'll end up growing old with. I rediscovered my Catholic faith in my post-grad years, and I realized there is no earthly experience that can compare to a personal relationship with Christ. And finally after years of waiting and wondering, I met my wonderful future husband two years ago. As I look back on the last seven years since I graduated college, I can see clearly how the Lord guided my life down a path that would lead me closer to him. And he filled it with people who would be my faith community. It's okay that my college dreams went unfulfilled because the Lord filled my life with new and better dreams in their place.
It's an interesting experience to spend time with other MSU band alumni these days, like I did at the wedding. It's interesting because I feel like I belong there, bonded with these people by the accomplishments and memories of being in the Spartan Marching Band, and yet I also have this feeling like I don't fully belong to that group any more. My life has taken a different direction and I only get to step into the band world again for rare visits. Kristine and Tim's wedding was one of those rare visits and a beautiful, joyous occasion. It was a special experience for me to stand by my best friend and the man she loves, having watched their relationship grow over the past several years. It was a time to briefly remember the seemingly magical days of college, and rejoice in how they led my friend to this day.
I'm grateful to still be friends with Kristine after all these years, despite the way our lives have diverged. It's nice to have an old friend who connects me to my past and also cheers me on as I head toward new opportunities in the future. My old college band life and my new life of rediscovered faith are both part of who I am. And I can be content with that.
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